So, here’s the thing. There’s this really great person in my life that I have never shared a picture of on my social media. We’ve known each other for several months and love each other in such a sweet way. We have weathered some real stuff with each other in our relationship, including my complete and utter panic about being seen and loved. And, the fact that the world isn’t setup for us to be polyamorous and practicing ethical non-monogamy.
We’re both married to other people and he has kids that he worries won’t be treated kindly by other parents if they knew that he and his wife have other partners. It’s frustrating and sad to feel like love like this can’t be celebrated or even accepted. This is such a real and beautiful part of my life that I want to honor its presence and impact.
I love our love. I love that we spend time together and with our partners and that we all share in each other’s lives. Cute couple selfies aside, love is alive and real and it’s amazing, and it doesn’t matter how much of the world can accept it. I’m truly delighted that this person is one of my partners in life. Pictures, no pictures or these silly cryptic pictures of these moments we’ve had; I had to share the love. 💖#relationshipdiversity #polyamory #loveislove
I came across this image on social media a few days ago and I felt like it was a direct message from the polyamorous gods! My Facebook page for Poly Priestess has been awash with new members as we rolled into 2019 and my own life has been awash with love and support from so many people who are close to me or who recognize that my choice to live a polyamorous lifestyle is heart-centered and authentic. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to live life than to be committed to experiencing love in all its forms and being awed by all of the beautiful ways that it shows up.
I have been married for almost 13 years and our marriage has been open for the last 4 years. I sort of haphazardly labeled myself as being polyamorous right at the beginning of that with just a mild understanding that I was interested in dating and open to loving relationships with more than one man. Since then, I have been on a lot of dates and gotten to know some really amazing people. I have learned how to balance the schedules of many busy adults and become increasingly more self aware about how I function in relationships. I have learned so much about the depth of connection that we can have as humans and the role that plays in my spirituality. I have felt the swelling joy and weirdness of simultaneously being in love with two people at the same time; I have experienced the sting of having my heart broken and the unique beauty of that pain at this time in my life.
Since making this commitment to, sort of, dive head-first into love, my life has changed in ways too numerous to imagine. The most amazing of these, is how much love I am able to be present to. Not only from my husband and romantic partners, but also from friends and family who all allow themselves to be present with my genuine expression of love and grace. In short, they all love me in a way that allows me to feel free; to feel held up and supported; that reminds me how important it is just to be the best version of me.
When I first start talking to people about polyamory, I get the typical assumption that our marriage is open just for the sake of having sex with lots of people. Which, for some, it can be-- and if that's you -- more power to you. What happens between consenting adults doesn't require approval from me or anyone else! However, for me, it has been and continues to be about so much more. Polyamory is about a deeper experience of life and love and the magic that happens when we're committed to better communication and honesty in relationships. As someone who has mindfully been studying and teaching spiritual philosophy for the last decade, these experiences have always been a part of my willingness to be present to the deeper meaning in all human connection and how being a presence of Love in the world is filled with limitless possibility.
The truth is, polyamory means something unique to every person who lives it, talks about, or is just curious about it. The beauty in that diversity of ideas and experiences exemplifies polyamory and all non-traditional relationship structures. We're all here to love and it's not up to anyone else to decide for us what that's going to look like or how the experience of loving shows up in the expression of our lives. One of my intentions for 2019 is to embrace this Poly Priestess moniker I have assigned myself; to be more open expressing this truth on my spiritual journey; and create space for others to know they are supported in loving the way that they love. So, I'm glad you found your way here and I'm looking forward to seeing all the connections that begin here.
aka Poly Priestess
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to set a powerful intention into the Universe and have it be met with a clear and resounding “Yes!”?
Let me tell you, it’s the most amazing thrill ride filled with endorphins and excitement that you could ever imagine times 10! It’s beautiful and glorious; the stuff every dream come true storyline has ever consisted of. It’s also like all the plotlines from apocalyptic horror stories and disaster movies comes alive inside of every one of your molecules ripping you to shreds and challenging every belief you have about yourself and the world around you.
At least that’s what it’s been like for me. You see, I fell in love. And, before you ask, yes I am always this dramatic. I’m a storyteller. And this story isn’t just a love story where one boy meets one girl and they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. This is a polyamorous love story. My polyamorous love story. This love story isn’t just filled with sex and intrigue. It’s filled with the intention that I called into my experience of Life. My intention is to know relationship as a spiritual practice; to have an ever-expanding experience of Love.
As a minister and spiritual counselor I have known for quite some time that my willingness to live life as wholehearted and authentically as I possibly could means, for me, that I am being called love. Love takes many forms. Compassion, friendship, nurturing and family are ways in which we love and so is romantic love. For some souls in this world romantic love looks like meeting the one person that they want to spend their life with, maybe buy a house together and have some children. I think that’s great if it works for you. My vision of romantic love has always looked a little different than that. And, honestly, I’m not sure my picture is fully formed. I know I’m doing it though, loving.
That brings me back to the crux of this blog; falling in love while being in a loving marriage and being as open and honest about that as possible. I feel like this romantic connection has triggered every issue about love and relationship that I have ever had. Thoughts I didn’t know I believed to be true, past hurts I thought I had already worked through and sorrows I had forgotten have been bubbling to the surface for weeks. And as they show up, I have to address them or resist them until I make myself (and everyone around me) crazy.
So, here I am sharing my misadventures and musings on this beautiful, painful and imperfect road that I am on. I know it’s not a journey for everyone but it’s the one that I’m on and I am trying to stay present to every step.